Charlie really let me off easy in his review. I’ll be the first to say that for the last two years my work, except maybe one or two particular pieces, has fucking blown! It comes down to my lack of directio0n, my high level of distraction, and my inability to remember why I over chose Art as a major in the first place. Remember those people Ian pointed to outside the window on the first day of intro class, the enemy, well I think I’m one of them.
At this point, with two quarters left until I graduate, I’m simply trying to make it through. I ‘m sure some will likely say,” well shit Josh, that sounds like great material to make work about, you should focus your work on that!” If I knew how to do that I wouldn’t be in this position at all.
I want a break. I want a break from making art, from talking about art, from hearing theories on art, and from art school. This is not me giving up, in fact this is me admitting when it’s time to gracefully step away. If I continue down this path I will end up hating the art world and resenting myself. I really don’t want that. I remember a time when I looked forward to, got excited about, and needed to make work, but I don’t remember what that is like now. I have hope that by stepping away, and not force feeding myself the art world, constantly asking myself what’s wrong with me for feeling this way, that I will find my love for it again.
Right now I don’t need to make work to survive; it’s not my lifeline or my savior. I lost my desperation.
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