I have come to realize that my current works are perhaps manifestations of how I currently view myself and not so much about the picture itself. Although, in both aspects, I realized that the child in the photo is not in control of the situation she is in, and perhaps that is an expression of how I presently feel. I try to take every opportunity to do the best I can, but realized just how difficult I find it to articulate or actually allow myself to focus on things that I conditioned myself to believe I am not good at. In turn, those thoughts lead me to think that I surround my life with barriers or even veils. Then, I realized that those same barriers and veils always seem to find a way into my work. I work intuitively for the most part. This does not mean that I do not know what I am doing. I do have a starting idea and I let that idea flow, and I make choice to add or subtract what I believe should be added or subtracted. During these processes of addition and subtraction I do recognize that things seem to manifest themselves, but this is because of the choices I have made. This quarter my work has dealt with childhood imagery. The dot patterns in my work are like the patterns that make up our memories. These patterns are distorted and reside on different planes, and provide an image that is true and yet not true in its translucency. The images are from the past, but my memories are from the present. Therefore, these are images representing who I am now, as opposed to who I was then. Of course, who I was then plays a part in who I am now. The undefined spaces between the two are those barriers and veils that seem to manipulate the present. Many of the images have varying colored dots that seem to be symbolic of different feelings, but I feel I need to further investigate if perhaps, for example, red=danger, and blue=tranquility. Some of the memories are very fragile and in these I intentionally leave all layers undefined, where they all seem to meld into each other. These also usually deal with loved ones and the idea that all things fade out and cease to exist. I believe that my work will always be inspired by my life and how my psychological make-up causes me to view things in my perspective, through my bubble, of course. I am trying to view the work from a different perspective, but realize that I still view it through my attachment to the positive and negative thoughts that I seem to constantly create, rather than viewing it from a detached point of view. I am not sure if I will ever be capable of detaching myself from my work.
I suppose I am still dealing with the exploration of the self, but perhaps I would like to view myself and the world around me from a detached point of view, or perhaps, I just need to accept that I will always view the world in this manner and should just acknowledge it for what it is. Overall, It seems I am exploring the barriers that I have created.
The pictures I decided to upload are just images that I seem to always go back to. I do love bubbles.
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